Education

I am being bombarded with reminders at Grace that re-enrollment is coming up. Don't forget, don't forget, don't forget. My heart is breaking because I won't be enrolling my girl this next year for 1st Grade. Instead she will be going to the public school. I am nervous, scared, excited, worried, and saddened about this.

Ever since I dreamed about having kids, I wanted to send them to a religious, private school. In CA, I knew we could never even DREAM about that. But here in Idaho, it became a possibility, especially since the best school not only in the town, not only in Idaho, but one of the best in the entire nation happens to be at our church. It was perfect. As I was carrying this special baby, I'd hear all the school announcements and just DREAM of the day when my child was part of that community.

It goes back even further than when I was pregnant though. When I was suffering through my infertility, I often read the stories in the bible about barren women. One of the stories that always stuck with me was Hannah and how she said that if God would just give her a son, she would give him back to Him. And God granted that wish and at 2 years old, she sent him to live with Eli and become a priest. I remember praying to God and telling Him that if he gave me a baby that I would dedicate that little life back to Him. I promised Him that although I couldn't give her back physically, I would make sure she knew of Him. And that promise has stuck with me, especially with Jessica.

So when she started PK-3 there, I thought it was God answering my prayers. I didn't worry about the future because I knew that God would make it happen. I knew there would be a way.

But this year with Kindergarten and the tuition going up and each year it goes up and then when Jake gets to school, it will be almost impossible. Now don't get me wrong, I still believe that God would find a way. I do. But Marty is anxious and worried about money and this is a huge thorn in his side. He HATES spending the money. I see his point that he is going to retire in 10 years and we need to be financially stable. He doesn't believe that I can bring in any money when he retires. I guess I'm not very valuable except to wipe butts and clean the house, but that's a whole other conversation. Anyway, to save my marriage and to follow my husband's lead, which I believe is my duty, I agreed to put her in public school next year.

I worry about public school just because it's a downgrade in education. But also I worry SO much about the liberal ideals that are instituted in public schools. I do not want my children being taught to be "tolerant". I want them to learn compassion and love. That's a completely different concept. I think here in Idaho, a Republican state, it's not as bad as it would have been in CA. But I still worry.

The other thing that I worry about is the Mormon aspect. While I love my Mormon friends and pray for them daily, I have heard that the kids can be somewhat exclusionary and teasing. I don't want my children to feel "different" than other people. And I certainly don't want them to ever lose focus on God. It scares me.

But I have to trust that God has a plan for us, for each of my children. If it's not at Grace, then I know He will protect them in public school. And there are good things, too like it's literally 2 minutes from our house. THAT will be nice!

All in all, we'll survive this test. I'm sure when the school year starts next year, it will take a bit of getting used to, but we'll adjust.